Crazy? Perhaps. Jubilant? You bet.
I’ve written and spoken about this so many times, but it bears repeating. If only to myself: JOY MATTERS. Joy needs to be cultivated! And dancing brings me joy.
I am in one of my dreaded drought periods when the classes I love go on break, and the company rehearsals are on hold. I can feel my soul’s mouth parched–thirsting for the essential liquid that brings me alive.
So, when I hear about a class that sounds good, my mind and heart immediately and relentlessly zero in on how to make it happen. Can I do it? Can I get there? Can I make the arrangements on the home front? Can my body do the movement when I am not in top shape?
Why do I even ask, doubt? Everything inside me is clamoring: yes! yes! yes!
As so often happens, I didn’t sleep well last night partly due to the fact that I’ve gotten badly lost when I’ve trekked to this faraway place for class. So, at 3:40 a.m., as I lay awake, I wondered if my body and mind would be sufficiently rested to be able to dance as athletically as we do. I got a late start, I got lost (again) and was hustling to get there on time. Asking myself whether this is worth it, the constant pushing, driving, reaching….
But when I entered the studio, all of that fell away. This is home, baby, home.
When the music came on and we started to move, I was back in that glistening, wondrous place that I hope you’re familiar with. Flow. Optimal experience. TRANSCENDENCE.
There’s just you and what you’re wholly focused on, challenged by, enjoying, at one with. Riding and riding that wave. For me: gloriously dancing with the dance. The poor night’s sleep, getting lost, what I need to do for the rest of the day all fade as my eyes meet the shining eyes of dance.
Go bigger! Dig deeper! Make it beautiful! See the space! Release! Suspend! Sense the other dancers! Push it! Shake it off and try again! Breathe! Enjoy!
When I got back in the car to head home, sweaty, fatigued, exhilarated, I shook my head yet again. Wondering why I ever hesitated to come here today. To dance: my passion, my reverence, my joy. And also my prayer, aimed at feeding affirmatively the universe’s own wave of joy, one which starts with the droplets contributed by each of us.
Reminding me of Rumi’s gorgeous wisdom:
“The soul is here for its own joy.” I hope you are living yours.