How To See?

I don’t know.  That’s for starters. Not in the way I want to; not in the way I need to so I can finally move forward in some stalled artistic projects and major transitions.

I was reminded of this last night as I reread Roland Merullo’s marvelous, funny book, “Breakfast with Buddha,” about an external, and internal, road trip of enlightenment.  The good-hearted, very human protagonist’s musings about “The Wizard of Oz” really hit home.  Oz is:

“...that kingdom of illusion, that place where you came to understand that you’d had everything you needed all along–good witches to call on in an emergency, all the courage, brains and heart that was necessary in order to manage your way through this life.  Oz was that place where the God you were going to for help could not help you, not really.  All he could do was turn your eyes to what you already were and ask you to see it differently….”

That’s it!

I realize I have reverted to a fave modus operandi: casting about for advice, signs, affirmation, and outright direction from anyone and anything I can find…i.e., outside of myself. Ignoring the obvious, but often more daunting, route of digging more deeply inside.  Proust was spot on that “[t]he real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

photo-47

What if I can’t come up with answers?  What if my talent and skill are as limited as I fear? What if we do move homes and it’s a huge mistake that I fueled big time?  The only person I will be able to blame, er hold responsible, is myself. No wonder I’ve been avoiding this :).

On the good news front, writing about this has yielded a better understanding of what’s going on, and at least a glimmer of how to proceed.   More than what I’ve experienced for the past week as my pen has been paralyzed by the self-doubt wrought by an outrageously active and impish censor.

So, I think I’ll mosey on into the kitchen with my journal and review the notes on my new solo.  Turn things upside down and around a bit–including me.  Hoping I can shake things up enough to refresh and see what I’ve really got.  Here’s wishing you your own clear vision….

Vision is seeing what is invisible to others.”~Jonathan Swift

 

 

 

 

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11 Responses to How To See?

  1. I find the view is always better upside down 🙂 And what’s this about a move– are you looking into a new home? x x

    • SirenaTales says:

      Yes, ma’am! Upside down certainly is revealing and refreshing, as you know so well :). Thank you for your insight, as always. And, yes, hoping we may be moving, but still in very early stages…even though I’ve been hoping for it for long time. Will keep you posted. Glad NYC didn’t get walloped too badly with the snowstorm. Hope you and yours are cozy! xx

  2. diahannreyes says:

    Chloe, I love reading about your movement inward. I can definitely relate to casting about elsewhere for the answers. I did that in sometimes not the most constructive ways, not wanting to be accountable for my choices. Although ultimately, even when I took other’s guidance I still was left with the consequences because their advice became my choice. Thank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably here. (On a side note, I’ve been thinking about what you said regarding voice in one of your comments on my blog. It’s something I’d been thinking for awhile but having you name it also made me realize I’m not the only one who sees/senses that… so it must be more universal than we know.) xo

    • SirenaTales says:

      Diahann, Precisely: “…their advice became my choice….” I think sometimes we (I) forget that part of responsibility. As always, I so appreciate YOUR honesty, clarity and generosity. Re: the “voice” side note, your comment is the nudge I needed to keep moving on the “voice” aspect of my solo, as well as a new post or two about voice. I am so grateful to you for the inspiring dialogue! xox

  3. Rachael Charmley says:

    Everyone who creates knows what you speak of. I suppose if it was easy everyone would be doing it. ❤
    PS. Love the Swift quote xxx

    • SirenaTales says:

      Yep: “…if it was easy everyone would be doing it….” Reminding me of that great lyric from the Broadway show Avenue Q–“why does everything have to be so hard?” Nice to know, kind of in a schadenfreude way, that I am not alone. Thank you as always for your support and understanding. Will be emailing later today or tomorrow. xxo

  4. kanzensakura says:

    “You are a wonderful, magical, inspiring person!” quote, Kanzen

    • SirenaTales says:

      Wow, wow, wow, Kanzen! Thank you more than I can express for your abundant kindness. Once again, you put quite the bounce in my step. Maybe I’ll write your quote on my bathroom Walls of Inspiration :). Either way, I am printing it out and keeping it nearby. Thank you so much…SO much. xoxo

  5. Luggage Lady says:

    You have an amazing knack for articulating something precisely when I need to hear it!! Just when I think I’ve arrived at a stage in my life where I’ll stop wondering whether I’m enough — or worrying what others think, I’ll catch myself hesitating, stalling — heck — downright avoiding certain projects because: God forbid I offend someone… Yet, when I think of ALL I’ll miss by fretting over sharing my thoughts with the world, standing silently on the sidelines out of fear — I become impassioned. If we don’t share our creative minds/energies, we are doing the world a disservice! So, here’s to renewed vision, self-responsibility, and shooting for the most distant star!!! Sending you huge HUGS & Love!

    The alternative bleakly summarized by a favorite blogger of mine: “You know, when we’re little we usually dream big. We look up at the stars and we imagine that we only have to grow up in order to reach them. Most of the times, we grow up and never look up at the stars again.” — Cristian Mihai

    • SirenaTales says:

      Yes, indeed, my passionate and generous friend: “…here’s to renewed vision, self-responsibility, and shooting for the most distant star!!!” I am with you big time, girl. Let’s keep each other off of that silent, fear-ridden sideline.

      Thank you once again, for showering your gorgeous sparks all over my blog. Rock on. xoxo

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